Pre-Wedding Rituals
The Engagement Ceremony
The engagement ceremony takes place at the home of the groom. Only the bride's father, brother and other
close relatives attend this ceremony. Ladies not even the bride do not accompany
the menfolk for the tika. The ceremony is so called because the bride's brother
actually applies a tilak to the groom's forehead and makes the alliance or
engagement official. A sword, other presents, clothes, fruits, sweets etc., are
given to the groom.
Ganapati Sthapna & Griha
Shanti Ceremony
Ganapati sthapana & griha shanti is the second
most important ceremony performed usually a few days prior to the wedding. A
havan is performed by the groom or bride's parents to propitiate the gods and an
idol of Lord Ganapati is installed. All ceremonies commence only after the
sthapana.
Pithi Dastoor Ceremony
The
actual ceremony consists of application of turmeric and sandal wood paste to the
bride/ groom who cannot leave the house once the pithi starts. The pithi dastoor
at the bride's house is an elaborate affair. The bride dresses in an orange
poshak and is then brought under a silken canopy, which is held with the help of
swords at the four corners by four ladies who must belong to the same clan as
the bride. She is brought to the ladies gathering, who then apply the paste to
her. A similar ceremony takes place at the groom's as well, although it is not
as elaborate. Dholans (women singers with dholak) sing auspicious prewedding
songs while the ceremony is in progress.
Mehfils
Celebrations move into full swing with the
women involved in merrymaking, playing dholaks and singing pre-wedding songs in
the courtyard. Separate mehfils are organised for the women and the men. At the
ladies' mehfil, all the womenfolk gather at a central place in an enclosed
courtyard or hall. Dressed in dazzling dresses, they perform the ghoomar (a
special dance done in a group). The bride at the mehfil is given an important
position to sit and watch the proceedings. Of course, the men have their own
mehfil, where singers perform and these are strictly all male
parties.
Mahira Dastoor
It is
believed that since a wedding is a time for lavish spending, the bride's and the
groom's maternal uncles must help their sisters with the expenditure. A ceremony
called Mahira Dastoor, in which the uncle arrives amidst gaiety and celebration,
and distributes gifts and money amongst people of the house. The maternal uncle
has an important role to play in a Marwari wedding.