Selecting a Match
The Sindhis normally go through a third party for arranging a match. They either negotiate through the marriage
bureau of the Sindhi academy or use the services of a mediator or a matchmaker.
Once a boy is shortlisted, the girl's family goes to see the boy. Only if they
approve of the boy, the boy's people get to meet the girl. The boy's family is
also generally quite particular about the status of the girl's family and visits
her house to assess the living standard. Then come marriage negotiations - a
discussion on len-den or dowry in which the girl's parents specify what they are
going to give the girl and the couple.
Auspicious Times for Weddings
A Brahmin priest consults the horoscopes of the bride and the groom and then tallying from the almanac fixes
the exact time of marriage (lagna time) so that it is conducted during an
auspicious period. In some case, the families set the day of an auspicious
festival (Satyanarayan Chandsi or the new moon day) as the marriage date. In a
number of cases, when the auspicious time to get married cannot be fixed
astronomically, a Gudhuro marriage is performed, which can be performed on any
day after sunset.
Pre-Wedding Rituals
Kacchi Mishri
If the families from both sides agree for the marriage, then the first formal
ceremony Kacchi Mishri takes place. The girl's family dispatches 5 kilos of
sweetmeats (mithai), five coconuts, a basket of fruit, some kada prasad (seera
made of wheat flour) and a small token amount of money to the boy's family. The
approval of the match by the boy's family is symbolised by the consumption of
the mishri. This ceremony is also called ladki rokna. (engaging the girl). This
confirms a relationship between the two families and the marriage is fixed for
around four to six months later.
Pakki Mishri
Pakki Mishri is the betrothal by a formal ring ceremony, held usually a week before the actual wedding. For the
Pakki Mishri ceremony, the bride's family sends all clothes and accessories,
which the bridegroom requires for the wedding ceremony, to his house. These
gifts are accompanied by a token amount of cash, one basket each of fresh and
dry fruit, one kilo of mishri or sugar candy, ten kilos of sugar, ten kilos of
sweets and 11 coconuts. The dry fruit basket could also contain other food items
like jam, ice cream, coffee, sherbets etc. The girl's family also gives clothes
(or an equivalent amount of money) to all the members of the boy's family).
Sindhis used to sacrifice a goat to appease the Gods and the spirits to ensure a
successful marriage. This is not prevalent anymore.